'Grey's Anatomy' stars reveal show almost never aired, recall 'torturing themselves' for emotional drama

Katherine Heigl and Ellen Pompeo sat down together for the first time in eight years to talk all things "Grey's Anatomy" and how their lives have evolved since. The hit ABC drama has been airing since 2005, making it the longest-running scripted primetime show for the network. "Grey's Anatomy" was renewed for a 20th season in March. Despite the show's success, Heigl and Pompeo recall the anxiety felt before the show initially aired — following an episode of ABC's hit drama at the time, "Desperate Housewives." "I just remember that I was nervous that they were not going to air it," Heigl, who starred as Izzie Stevens, told Pompeo during the conversation published by Variety. "There was a moment when it was unclear. They didn’t like it." ELLEN POMPEO BACKS KATHERINE HEIGL'S CLAIMS REGARDING ‘GREY’S ANATOMY' WORK HOURS: ‘SHE WAS F---ING BALLSY' "We’ll be very nice and not name the executive who almost took a nap on Shonda Rhimes. I’m not saying it, but he almost slept on Shonda Rhimes — almost didn’t air that pilot!" Pompeo chimed in. "You can do your research and find out who it was. Imagine being that guy." "I think he still is that guy," Heigl joked. "I think he owns a vineyard now in Napa." For Heigl and Pompeo, the filming of "Grey's Anatomy" was an emotional journey. A scene that has stuck out many years down the road is when Pompeo's character — Meredith Grey — cuts a patient's left ventricular assist device (LVAD) wire. The LVAD is used for patients who have reached end-stage heart failure. Heigl's character had fallen in love with the patient, Denny Duquette played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and recalled how "badly" she wanted to "nail" that now infamous scene. "When it got to the point where he dies, and [Izzie's] laying in the bed with him, I wanted so badly to nail that scene. I wanted it to feel the way it was written on the page," Heigl explained. "I don’t like to do that whole, ‘Go into the dark place and listen to the music that’s going to tear my soul apart’ thing. And the worst was that I really went there." The actress said she leaned on her experience with her brother's death at the time, but would now likely change her approach to the scene. "I was 7 when my brother died, but we were in the hospital for a week," she revealed. "I don’t enjoy thinking about that much or that week in the hospital or him in that bed, but I chose to do that for that scene. I don’t think I’d do it again. I don’t think I would put myself in that headspace again to achieve that. I think I would try harder to just act it." However, Pompeo noted that Heigl's acting in the scene led to an "iconic" moment of the show. "But those moments are what made the show as iconic as it is," Pompeo explained. "Art is always worth it, because people watch that scene, and it’s cathartic for them. Most people have lost people, and everybody loves a good cry. We made people feel things, Katie, and that is the biggest gift as an actor — to be able to make people feel. It’s pretty cool." CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER She added: "One of the reasons why the show has impacted people so much is because we were so emotional. We were able to generate so much emotion. And that always results in amazing performances. Whether actors are torturing themselves or we’re torturing each other, the result is good, and the writers know that." Pompeo, who still stars in the series 18 years later, is set to make a move into a new world. The actress will still successionally appear on "Grey's Anatomy" as Meredith Grey, but she's set to begin filming a new show with Hulu in September. Meanwhile, Heigl has moved past being branded as a "difficult" and an "ungrateful" woman in showbusiness and recently saw success with her latest project "Firefly Lane," a Netflix drama. "I was so naive. I got on my soapbox and I had some things to say, and I felt really passionate about this stuff. I felt really strongly. I felt so strongly that I also got a megaphone out on my soapbox," Heigl recalled of being outspoken on her beliefs at the time. "There was no part of me that imagined a bad reaction. I felt really justified in how I felt about it and where I was coming from. I’ve spent most of my life — I think most women do — being in that people-pleasing mode. It’s really disconcerting when you feel like you have really displeased everybody." At one point, Heigl spoke out about how she believed the film "Knocked Up," in which she starred in, was "a little sexist." The actress claimed the film showed "women as shrews, as humorless and uptight" and men "as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys." "It was not my intention to do so, but I had some things to say, and I didn’t think I was going to get such a strong reaction," Heigl admitted. "I was in my late 20s. It took me until probably my mid-to-late-30s to really get back to tuning out all of the noise and going, ‘But who are you? Are you this bad person? Are you ungrateful? Are you unprofessional? Are you difficult?’ Because I was confused! I thought maybe I was. I literally believed that version, and felt such shame for such a long time, and then had to go, ‘Wait. Who am I listening to? I’m not even listening to myself. I know who I am.’"